Understanding authenticity is easy. Showing up? Sometimes, it feels impossible. But not only has authenticity been correlated to mental and physical health, the world is getting more diverse every day. In recent times, the war on women has felt stronger than ever, catalyzing many women to simply give up being everyone else in order to be themselves.
The biggest distractor? Fear, according to Gianna Biscontini, a behavior scientist, and author of F~ckless: A Guide to Wild, Unencumbered Freedoms.
5 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Being Yourself
1. Identify your values. “When we are aware of and rooted in the things we care about the most, we are less likely to fall prey to the opinions of others. We cultivate gratitude and certainty around who we are and wholly understand our lives are no one’s but our own. This sovereignty is the first step in overcoming the fear of what other people might think about who we are as the freest, truest versions of ourselves.”
2. Redistribute your energy. “Explicitly and intentionally taking stock of where we spend our time and energy alerts us to where its being wasted, so we can redistribute our efforts toward endeavors that truly set our souls on fire. When we see on paper that we are giving inordinate amounts of time to orbiting around other people’s wants, needs and beliefs – from what we wear to how we spend our time – we can drop our fear of being liked, right or good enough and reclaim our time for things that serve us.”
3. Weigh your alternatives. “When we can change our internal narrative from a hesitant ‘What if I do this?’ or ‘What will they think of me?’ – which is often a main sign of fear – to a more helpful question, ‘What will happen if I don’t?’, we can change the thoughts and rules that drive us. We immediately shift from avoiding authentic behavior out of fear to being unapologetically ourselves, empowered.”
4. Learn new language signals. “How we speak about our actions and choices, along with the tone we carry, sends signals that we are up for judgement, or not. By learning to change the way we speak, we change the way we act – and we change others in the process (or at least weed out the people who may be getting in our way). For a comprehensive list of scripts and ways to respond to those who are unlikely to receive your authentic self, download the free guide on my website (giannabiscontini.com)”
5. Regifting. “Recognizing when we are absorbing other people’s values, beliefs, thoughts or opinions is the most powerful step in overcoming the fear of being ourselves. So often we take on what other people find likeable, right or worthy that we forget we are the ones who get to choose for ourselves.”
ABOUT GIANNA BISCONTINI
Gianna Biscontini is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst who challenges women to overcome narratives and fight for their rights to live interesting and authentic lives outside boxes created by society. Her work as a keynote speaker, lifestyle design and leadership coach, and writer has
gained national attention in publications such as Forbes and has reached podcast audiences in over 100 countries. Prior to publishing F~ckless: A Guide to Wild, Unencumbered Freedoms, Biscontini founded the innovative employee well-being agency W3RKWELL. Learn more at GiannaBiscontini.com.